Recently a friend asked me for my thoughts on the murder of a child, my son’s age.
He asked me because it happened in a neighboring city and he said it was “big news”.
I try to avoid “the news”, because I don’t really think it is THE NEWS.
It should be renamed The Fear, because that is mostly what they are selling.
So I wasn’t familiar with the story.
I hadn’t even heard “the news”.
I reluctantly looked it up and was made sick and sad by it.
Another coward took the life of another child.
Another family destroyed in an instant.
Children murdered by guns has become so commonplace that it seems like it is becoming part of the fabric of America.
And I know none of us want that.
So there is some power there.
There is always power when you can find the point of agreement.
But this blog isn’t about gun control.
This blog is about parenting and about how much I love my kids.
But because I live in a country that has more guns than people, to be a good parent, I have to think about this.
Because I live in a country where people are afraid of one another, I have to think about how these things affect me and my children.
Because I live in a country where children keep coming up dead and guns are at the center of these deaths I have to address this as it could be MY children who die next.
Kids aren’t being beaten to death.
They aren’t being stabbed to death.
Sure these things happen but they aren’t commonplace.
In fact violent crime in America continues to drop year after year.
But homicide rates are increasing at the same time.
Could it be that people aren’t fighting anymore?
But that SOME people, who would be forced to walk away or take a beating normally, are actually just shooting people to resolve their disputes?
Are the weak people winning?
Is that the reason why gun homicides are increasing while violent crime is decreasing?
Are our children being murdered by the weakest members of our society?
Let’s stop arguing about The Second Amendment for a moment and just take a common sense approach to the repeated gun tragedies we continue to see in our country.
Guns are not the problem, right?
So many good people own guns and those guns never hurt anyone.
So guns can’t take the sole blame for these tragedies, right?
There are more parts to the equation.
But guns ARE part of the equation.
We all agree on that right?
Geoffrey Canada wrote this amazing book called Fist, Stick, Knife, Gun.
In his book he says “A gun is a great disruption of the natural order.”
Geoffrey goes onto explain that when two unarmed men have a dispute, that they take measure of each other.
Both men usually have a pretty good idea of who would be victorious if the dispute reached the level of violence and the weaker man usually backs down or seeks diplomatic means to resolve the issue.
Both men also know that if there is violence that even the “winner” will more than likely be injured.
Both men also know that fisticuffs can lead to hard feelings and future violence.
The stronger man knows he is stronger and will be unlikely to bother to engage in an activity that is destructive to both parties.
The weaker man knows he will be throttled and is also motivated to avoid conflict.
When a gun is present in the same equation the person with the gun becomes the stronger party in ALL occasions.
ANY person with a gun can defeat ANY other person who does not have a gun.
In fact ANY person with a gun can defeat any other person who has a gun IF he is the first to use his gun.
A gun always favors the aggressor.
It is not like nuclear war (an oft-used comparison) where one party will not fire their weapons because they know the other party will fire back and both parties will suffer massive casualties.
In a nuclear exchange both parties lose.
In a nuclear exchange there is time for the defender to fire back.
Guns are not like nuclear weapons.
When the aggressor fires his gun, the dispute is over.
The defender cannot defend.
He usually dies.
The aggressor wins.
There is no Mutually Assured Destruction.
So a dispute WITHOUT a gun favors the stronger and both parties will be injured.
A dispute WITH a gun is favors the aggressor and the aggressor stands very little chance of being harmed.
Or in short, a gun turns a weak man into the stronger man.
A gun turns the aggressor into the victor.
So guns are NOT the problem, but guns in the wrong hands are a HUGE problem.
It puts good people, who would never think to use a gun to kill someone, at a disadvantage for someone who does not share the values of decent people.
Guns in the wrong hands put good people at a disadvantage.
And contrary to a popular NRA slogan, rarely does a good guy with a gun stop a bad guy with a gun.
Because the bad guys usually shoot first and only one shot is needed in this sick and deadly game.
Most people will never misuse their firearm.
“The news” is not going to run a story about how Bob’s gun sat in his gun cabinet for the 1200th consecutive day and gathered dust.
And those who would never misuse their guns will agree with parents who say that we MUST get the guns out of the hands of people will use them to murder our children.
We all agree on that one thing.
That we are tired of seeing our children murdered by weak, ignorant people, who do not respect human life.
We all agree that police can only clean up the bodies of our babies and cannot PREVENT our kids from being murdered.
We all agree that it is up to US, the parents, to find a way to protect The Second Amendment rights of law abiding citizens, while at the same time, keeping the guns out of hands of people who do not respect human life.
We all have one thing in common on this subject.
We all want to protect our babies from “the bad guys”?
Millions of people in agreement is a powerful thing.
So how do we do that?